Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night,

Rage, Rage against the Dying of the Light

– Dylan Thomas

Dylan Thomas’ famous poem “Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night,” was written as an ode or perhaps an agonizingly poignant requiem for his dying father. While the poem was specifically about the demise of Thomas’ father, it is one that resonates with battered women’s plights around the world as they often struggle not to go gentle into that good night against their pugnacious and pernicious abusers who often seek to extinguish their light.

Earlier this year horrifying footage of a Sikh woman living in New York, Mandeep Kaur, circulated on the internet. The video, which went viral, sent shockwaves around the world. In the video an extremely distressed Kaur explains her plight, namely, that she has been subjected to eight years of torment at the hands of an abusive and cheating scumbag spouse and that the only way she felt she could escape his ire was to kill herself. Following her call for help she made the devastating and heart-wrenching decision to end her life. Sleuth Hound shares the video below with the intention of rousing people from their apathy as to the very visceral reality of domestic violence, however viewer discretion is advised.

Kaur’s desperate pleas for help were unanswered by the relevant authorities and her family who felt she should simply “put up” with her scumbag spouse’s vile abuse. As shocking as Kaur’s plight is, it is hardly isolated: domestic and sexual violence is a pervasive global problem with the World Health Organisation (WHO) characterizing it as “a global health problem of epidemic proportions.” Globally, it is projected that one billion women have experienced violence, primarily at the hands of an intimate partner. However, due to the incompetence of law enforcement it is sometimes a scenario which ends in a headstone, as above with Kaur. Another shocking example of domestic violence and the failings of law enforcement can be seen in the case of Banaz Mahmood.

Banaz Mahmood Failed by System

Banaz Mahmood, of Kurdish origin, was a young 20-year-old woman living in Mitcham, UK, when her family brutally killed her for bringing dishonor upon them. Banaz had been forced into an arranged marriage with an abusive man who regularly abused and assaulted her. She described him as possessing a cruel and archaic mindset and throughout their marriage she consistently reported the abuse to police who ignored her plight. See below video of Banaz disclosing her abuse to UK police:

To her family’s chagrin, she decided to leave her abuser, which they believed cast them in a detrimental light in their conservative community. Subsequently, she secretly fell in love with Rahmat, a man who by all accounts was kind and gentle with her and whom she genuinely loved. Although they tried to keep their relationship hidden, her family soon found out and it deeply angered them. One evening her father attempted to kill her but she managed to escape through an open window, and during the frantic ordeal she caused damage to some neighbor’s property (which the police unconscionably threatened to charge her over). She was admitted to hospital wherein Rahmat had the foresight to record her recounting what had happened as the terrified woman disclosed that she feared her family would again try to kill her. She made police aware of this risk but again they did not do anything to intervene to help the clearly beleaguered woman. Horrifyingly, her family succeeded in extinguishing her young life shortly thereafter on 24 January 2006. The details of how they killed her are simply too brutal to recount. However, the case raises the question, why did the UK authorities so profoundly fail this woman? She quite literally begged them for help.

Banaz Mahood, Source: Google

More Headstones

While Banaz’ case is shocking enough, the list of women killed by abusive spouses is endless. While for the purposes of this article it would be impossible to do justice to all the women who have suffered this fate, it is worth referencing a few more notable examples of women failed who were mercilessly murdered by abusive men (and oftentimes failed by the system).

Tara Brown

On September 8, 2015, young mother Tara Brown was brutally murdered in broad daylight by her violent spouse, Lionel Patea, who bludgeoned her to death with a crowbar. Just five days prior Tara had pleaded with police for them to intervene to protect her and they abysmally failed. A Coronial Inquest into the case found that the police had failed to protect her. The Inquest recommended the creation of specialist domestic violence police stations equipped to meet the needs of abused women.

Hannah Clarke and her Children

Another horrifying case is that of Hannah Clarke. In 2020, along with her three children, she was brutally killed by her abusive spouse.

Gabby Petito

Sleuth Hound already considered the Gabby Petito case in a prior article. In summary, Gabby was on a road trip in 2021 with her partner Brian Laundrie when he violently strangled her to death. As previously discussed, the warning signs wherein police could have intervened, including during a call-out to a domestic incident, illustrate how profound the ramifications of a failure to understand trauma can be.

The Alternative: Handcuffs?

As elucidated above, women often end up with headstones. However, if they fight back, the alternative is equally deleterious: handcuffs. Consider the case of Liysa Northon.

Liysa was born in New Mexico but she grew up primarily in the Washington State and Oregon areas. Although her childhood was far from idyllic, she flourished into an intelligent, charismatic and athletic young woman, primed to take on the world.

In the 80s and 90s, Liysa was a rising star on the surfing and photography circuits. She became an incredibly well respected cinematographer and photographer. At that time, she was the first woman to be awarded the contract for surfing’s Triple Crown event. She courted the respect of surfing legends including Kelly Slater and Layne Beachly. A regular on Baywatch, she was the quintessential beautiful blonde surfer girl living her dream.

So where did it all go wrong? In the mid 90s’ Liysa met and married Chris Northon, a Hawaiian airlines pilot. He was charming, charismatic and he swept her off her feet. They shared an intoxicating love. To outsiders, they appeared to have a storybook marriage. However, behind closed doors, Chris revealed a violent streak and Liysa was his favorite punching bag. Although Liysa repeatedly reported him to police, her cries for help fell on deaf ears. She was alone in an upward battle to protect herself and her children.

One evening in 2000 the couple were on vacation in Wallowa County, Oregon. A picturesque setting that would mask the horror of the events that would unfold that night. Once again, Chris lashed out at Liysa and their young son and, after four years of abuse at the hands of an erratic husband, Liysa made the only “choice” she felt she could make. To protect herself. To protect her children. She shot Chris in self-defence. Indeed, Liysa did not go gentle into that good night. 

Covered in bruises, she immediately surrendered herself to authorities. However, Oregon’s legal system, like many around the world, does not readily recognise narratives of female self-defence. She was painted as the villain, despite there being mountains of evidence to substantiate her claims of abuse. Additionally, her attorney, Pat Birmingham, did not properly understand the nuances of her experience and he failed her. The system silenced and re-victimised her. She took a plea and spent 12 years in prison, primarily at Coffee Creek Correctional Centre near Eagle Creek, Oregon.

To add fuel to the fire, crime writer, Ann Rule (whose single claim to fame seems to be that she worked night shifts manning a suicide hotline with infamous serial killer Ted Bundy) wrote a salacious, defamatory and highly fictionalised account of what happened in her book “Heart Full of Lies.” In truth, this was a book full of lies. Rule painted Liysa as a sociopath who planned her husband’s murder. She was cavalier with the truth and ignored all the facts – because sometimes the truth doesn’t sell as fast as scandalous tabloid fodder does.

Liysa is a survivor. Since her release from prison in 2013, she has become a powerful advocate against domestic violence and is a voice for change at the legislative level. She is currently highly involved in efforts to have attempted strangulation classed as a felony rather than a misdemeanor in Oregon. She was also part of the team that saw the introduction of legislation mandating domestic violence education in schools.

Liysa also gives regular talks on domestic violence issues. She reminds us that there is no stereotypical perpetrator. Sean Penn, James “the King of Soul” Brown, Ike Turner and Mel Gibson have all been accused of domestic violence. If only these people wore labels. It is through continued education and discourse that we can shed a light on the horror of domestic violence in all its forms. 

Female friendly self-defense?

Law reform in this space needs to focus on ensuring self-defense is female friendly to accommodate female narratives of self-defense. The doctrine of self-defense emerged out of the pub brawl context involving male violence wherein it was essential to establish: a duty to retreat had been exercised, proportionality and immediacy of threat. However, a study by Rebecca Bradfield highlights that this is not always pragmatic or realistic in the domestic violence context. Failure to meet all of these arbitrary requirements should not vitiate the operation of self-defense.

Sleuth Hound has been highly critical of ‘halfway’ house defenses including, inter alia, provocation, extreme emotional disturbance and extreme provocation. While an entire article ought to be dedicated to the foibles of the aforesaid, in short, these defenses: (a) promote the plea-bargain culture with women too fearful to take their cases to court, which necessarily limits the development of jurisprudence in this space (b) these defenses are often invoked in ‘jealous husband’ cases and have become the modern honor killing defense – see the case of R v Ramage (c) juries find these defenses too complex to understand and it becomes confusing for defense counsel to argue on the one hand that their client’s decisions were rational warranting a self-defense verdict or, in the alternative, she was so out of her mind that she was ‘provoked’ (d) moreover, these defenses again position women as the problem. Let us be clear: the abuser is always to blame for his violent behavior. If a woman genuinely and reasonably fears for her life and she can establish this on the merits of the case, she should be entitled to a full acquittal and should not be sentenced to any jail time.